Based on this painting by Sudandyo Aprilianto.
Boat to Nowhere
Synopsis: An international couple sits on a boat in the middle of the sea, unable to decide which direction to go. Should they go East, or West? No matter which direction they go, one of them will sacrifice and the other won’t. With the help of a merman, the fish, a thunderstorm, imaginary champagne, and a little bit of sex, eventually they have to make a decision. This absurd play is about the sacrifices we make for the people we love the most.
Excerpt:
I. EAST OR WEST
(A boat creaks back and forth as waves gently lap along its sides. Two figures, EAST and WEST, sit on the boat facing opposite directions. They speak to the wind as the audience enters the performance space.)
EAST: East.
WEST: West.
EAST: East.
WEST: West.
(They continue to do this until the audience is seated and the lights change.)
EAST: East.
WEST: West!
EAST: Will you stop talking please.
WEST: I wasn’t talking you were. I want to go home.
EAST: East.
WEST: West.
EAST: We’re never going to get there are we?
WEST: Where?
EAST: I don’t know. East or West , North or South, up or Down…. We can’t make up our minds!
WEST: I’ll trade you spots.
EAST: Okay.
(They trade spots.)
WEST: I think I can see the East from here. Maybe we should go East.
EAST: Really? But you said you didn’t want to go East.
WEST: Well maybe I do. I don’t know. Where will we live? What will we eat?
EAST: We’ll live in a hut with a nice ceramic floor and a front yard full of mango trees.
WEST: I like mango trees.
EAST: Me too.
WEST: But will there be cheese?
EAST: Yes there will be cheese. But not as much of it. Not as many choices.
WEST: But I like cheese. I really do. I like choices. Sometimes I want Brie and other times I want mozzarella.
EAST: Well you could have mango or durian or pineapple or coconut or lychee or papaya or banana (the small sweet kind).
WEST: Those are good too.
(Pause.)
EAST: Well? Should we go then?
WEST: No. I’m not ready yet. Can you see the West from where you’re sitting?
EAST: Yes I can see it. Just barely. It looks foggy.
WEST: That’s not fog, it’s glowing. The West is glowing.
EAST: Sure it is. Too much electricity.
WEST: It has a good infrastructure.
EAST: Yeah and you have to pay for it.
WEST: Well you don’t have to, it just depends on where you live.
EAST: Where will we live?
WEST: In a house on the beach. Or we could live in the mountains. Or, we could find a little city somewhere that’s up and coming. With lots of tech jobs. I’m sure you would like it there. We could take our future kids to the many libraries.
EAST: I don’t know. Will the winter be cold?
WEST: It depends on where we live. It’s not so bad if you have the right clothes.
EAST: I don’t like the cold. I want to be warm. I want to wear flip-flops every day.
WEST: Flip-flops give me blisters.
EAST: That’s because you never buy the right size.
WEST: Aren’t they all the same size?
EAST: No there’s more than one size. Don’t be ridiculous. People have different sized feet there. They don’t all wear the same size.
WEST: Oh well I don’t know. It doesn’t matter anyway because I have Tevas. They’re better for walking. Are there good walking trails there?
EAST: No, there are too many people. We could buy a treadmill though. Then you could walk whenever you want.
WEST: But I like a walk with a view. If we lived in the mountains I could walk every day and see the sun set behind mountains. In the West there are mountains.
EAST: In the East there are mountains too!
(Pause.)
WEST: I’m tired.
EAST: Me too. Let’s rest.
(They go to the center of the boat and cuddle, watching the stars.)